Certified Crazy

This is a bit of a “you had to be there” story, but I will do my best.

So about 6 months ago I posted about the neighbors across the street always complaining about each other and how the other was crazy.

You’re Crazy! No, You’re Crazy!

Well the one neighbor moved out a few months ago and the other is still there. Figured out today the guy that stayed is definitely the crazy one. We were talking for about 15 min today and I was realizing just how crazy he is and it was verified when he told me that he was “certified crazy by the Marines.”

He doesn’t drink. He only buys cigarettes and snacks. He has come in multiple times over the last couple months complaining about “hackers” getting into his email. I’m pretty sure most of the “hacking” was just him getting spam emails and then he thinks that someone logged into his email and put the emails there. He has told me that he contacted the police about it and they traced the IP address of the person that logged in and found the GPS location where it was coming from and it was from the street in front of his house. So now he is convinced that someone is standing in the street and hacking into his email.

Now while I know that is technically possible for someone to do over an unsecured wifi connection, he is using his old flip phone and I am not sure if that is even possible to do. More likely is that he is logging in from his phone and the GPS is just slightly off.

Today he is telling me about the “hackers” again. He was at the library and couldn’t log into his email because the password was changed. So he had to use his recovery email account to change the password and then after he had it working for a while the password would change again about 10 minutes later. He said he had to change his password 4 times while he was there because someone kept hacking hit. He said it had to be “That bitch sitting across from me” or “the 3 fuckers sitting on their laptops”. I tried to explain to him that IF someone was hacking into his email it was definitely not one of the people sitting at the library with him, it was more likely someone in another state or country with a program designed to do it, but he didn’t buy it.

He then went on the explain that the 4th time he changed his password he used his phone that “only 5 people are able to log into” to block the hackers so they couldn’t change his password again. I have no idea how he thinks this works. He just has a simple flip phone and was still changing his password on the computer he was using. I think that he thinks it somehow puts up some kind of electronic barrier to stop the “fucking hackers”.

What I think was happening here is that he was just changing his password twice and not realizing it. Split personality? Blackouts? Just forgetful? I don’t know, but definitely some brand of crazy.

After this he was pretty heated and started telling me that today he was at the police station (not sure why exactly, I think he just went down to yell at people) and was telling them that they need to “PRODUCE evidence” against him. He kept yelling the word “PRODUCE” and told me his lawyer taught him the word. He said that everyone in town hates him and calls him a “baby fucker”. In this part of the conversation he also told me about trying to get custody of his son for years. What I eventually gathered was that he was charged/suspected/something of sexual child abuse. Which this story that I posted about a month ago makes a little more sense now.

Suck A Baby’s Dick?!?

This is one of the more crazy/intense things that I have ever had to deal with. Especially when he started hitting his cane on the counter (he makes canes out of driftwood and has tried to sell me one before) and talking about how if anyone wanted to fuck with him that he lives right by the river and can get rid of the bodies. This is also when he told me “I am certified crazy by the Marines. I don’t know how long or how hard I am hitting someone. I’m crazy.”

Lesson of the day: Don’t fuck with (or hack) the crazy child molester (unconfirmed) across the street.

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