Astral Projection

Drunk customer: “You know about Astral projection? I can do it, but I have to quit drinking. I’ve been kicked out of the second dimension, but I can go to the third… When the zombie apocalypse happens, come find me.”
Told me all of this as he was going out the door. Where do these people come from?

RZA?

Had a guy at the liquor store ask me if I was trying to look like RZA from Wu-Tang. Told him I didn’t even know what RZA looked like. Just looked up a picture. Now I am even more confused.

f##king Pot Head

Screw the fight tonight and the thousand people buying beer. Had one guy tell me he loved me. Another that was pissed I wouldn’t haggle on the price. And a special fuck you to the guy walking out that called me a fucking pot head… Still have 5 hours left.

The Normal Size

Guy at the drive-thru: “Jim Beam”
Me: “What size?”
Him talking to me like I am an idiot: “The normal one.”

*This conversation ended with me showing him all 4 sizes that we have*

Drunk Tranny

Most interesting part of the night was probably the drunk tranny that came into the store.┬áHe/She is a regular here, and shouldn’t wear high heels while drunk… Also spent about 5 minutes with a woman trying to find “Zippendale” before I figured out she meant white zinfandel.

“Respect” Your Elders

Had a customer today tell me that he was having a bad day because his wife wouldn’t let him see his dad because she thought he was going to go have sex with his dad… His argument to her was “he’s 86. You have to respect that.”